How to Listen to Your Body

(When You’ve Spent Years Ignoring It)

Have you ever heard a therapist or friend tell you to “listen to your body”?

Being able to attune to the sensations in your body empowers you to effectively address stress and prevent burnout.

But most of us were never taught how to do this, instead we’ve internalised the message that rest, nourishment and even loo breaks are only allowed once we have reached a certain arbitrary target or when the powers-above deem it’s our break time.

So many of us have become expert at switching off from our bodies instead.

We override tiredness with caffeine, ignore muscle tension until it becomes pain, and push through stress until burnout forces us to stop. Recently I spoke to Dr Alex George on his Stompcast who told me he’d coped with busy 12 hour A & E shifts by drinking less to avoid needing the toilet. My heart broke to think of the hard working clinicians depriving themselves of the basics in order to meet the overwhelming demands of their work.

So we know that asking someone to “tune into your body” is not easy - it goes against years of conditioning. But importantly - it’s a skill that can be learnt. This post will show you how.

Persisting with this skill, even when it’s hard, will help you recognise when you need rest, when your body needs movement, and when your nervous system is caught in a loop of urgency.

If that sounds familiar, this is your gentle guide to start reconnecting with the wisdom in your body. You don’t have to do it perfectly. Just begin.

Getting Started

Step one: Check In

You don’t need a dedicated “self-care” hour to tune into your body. In fact, I believe that the best place to start is by using the natural transitions in your day as a cue to check in.

Here are six transition points in the day when you could start doing this:
✔ Sitting down to eat
✔ Just before a meeting
✔ Getting in the car or on the train
✔ When you press send on an email and are about to switch tasks
✔ Sitting down for a coffee

Can you think of other transition points to add here?

Step Two: Guide Your Awareness Through Your Body

So you’ve paused at these transitions, but now what?!

Scan through the whole body from the top to toe to check in with sensations available to the skin, muscle tension, temperature, inner-workings of the digestive system and so on.

Here are good places to zoom in on:

• Jaw & Face: Is your jaw clenched? Are your eyebrows knitted together?

• Neck & Shoulders: Any tension or aching? Are your shoulders raised to your ears?

• Chest & Breathing: Is your breath deep or shallow? Does your chest feel tight?

• Stomach: Is there a sensation of lightness, heaviness, butterflies, nausea, or emptiness?

• Hands & Fingers: Are they relaxed, fidgety, clenched, or cold?

• Legs & Feet: Can you feel the ground? Do they feel restless, or heavy?

• Head: Once you’ve got to the bottom of the body why not go back up to your brain and notice the thoughts passing through for bonus points - is your brain busy, jumping from one thing to another, fixated on one thing or unfocused?

Still no need to fix anything at this step - just practice noticing what is here. And if you notice that there are no sensations in certain parts of the body then know that this is is also normal.

Over time, these tiny moments of awareness will help you spot patterns - where stress builds up, when you’re most drained, and what helps you feel better.

When I started to do this properly I realised how I had always crashed from one on-line meeting to another so it was actually quite tricky to even notice the transition points! Now when I check in after a client’s zoom session I’ll often notice that my shoulders have risen up towards my ears and I’ve got a furrowed brow from concentrating. I’m hoping that these check ins will help reduce my worry lines too!

Step Three: Ask Yourself:“What Do I Need Right Now?”

Once you’re in the habit of noticing your body, take it a step further. Ask yourself out loud:

👉 “How am I feeling right now?”

What’s the overall sense you have from checking in with all those body parts. So you could respond to this question with a physical response “I’m exhausted” or “I’m hungry”, but you might also get an emotional response “I’m overwhelmed” or “I’m annoyed”.

All of these responses are valid. The follow up question is;

👉 “What do I need?”

If you’ve spent years ignoring your body’s signals it may take you time to work out the answer to this.

Don’t overthink it, the simplest answer is probably exactly what you need:

• “I need to stretch as my muscles feel rigid and achy.”

• “I need some water as my mouth is dry.”

• “I need to slow down as I’m tripping over myself.”

• “I need a burst of movement to discharge this agitation before my next meeting.”

And the key? Act on it when you can. Even in small ways. These eases the moment and stops the niggles building up into pain or impacting on your emotions.

I used to operate by overriding my body because of being in a rush.

I remember one occasion when I was (surprise, surprise) rushing home laden with heavy shopping bags. I had my winter coat on so was starting to over-heat and this was making me more irritable. I remember what a revelation it felt when I had a thought that I could stop and take my coat off to make the final leg of my journey more comfortable. I folded it into a bag and took a sip of water to cool down. Just the action of stopping made me realise I was rushing unnecessarily. And meeting my basic physical needs meant the end of my walk home was more enjoyable.

Next Level Tools to Reconnect

If you’re ready to explore further, here are three simple ways to deepen your connection with your body.

1. The Body Scan (Practice Once or Twice a Week)

A body scan is a structured approach to everything we’ve been through above where you allow 5-20 minutes to do mindfully guide yourself through all the parts of the body. I’ve recorded you a 9 minute audio version of this (but you can find longer versions online), click here to listen to it.

Whilst you don’t need to do this as a guided exercise I think this is a good way to get started when you are new to it.

2. Using Yoga to Tune Into Your Body

Yoga* is one of the most effective ways to listen to your body in real time. It combines movement, breath, and awareness, making it a perfect practice for reconnecting with yourself.

If you’ve ever tried yoga and felt frustrated - because your mind wouldn’t stop racing, or your body felt stiff - that’s okay. The point isn’t to be “good” at yoga but to use it as a tool for noticing where tension and resistance sit in your body.

Here are a few simple yoga practices that can help (only work within the limits of your body):

A. Gentle Floor-Based Poses (Perfect for Checking In)

These poses encourage deep relaxation while giving you time to notice physical sensations

• Child’s Pose – Kneel, fold forward, and rest your head on the floor or a cushion. Let your back, hips, and shoulders soften.

• Reclined Butterfly – Lie on your back with the soles of your feet together and knees relaxed outward. Notice any tension in your hips or lower back.

• Legs Up the Wall – Lie down and rest your legs against a wall. This is deeply calming and helps lower stress levels.

👉 While holding these poses, ask yourself: Where am I holding tension? How does my breath feel? Can I soften just 5% more?

B. Breath-Focused Movement (For Discharging Stress)

If your body feels wired, tense, or restless, pairing movement with breath can help shift you out of fight-or-flight mode.

• Cat-Cow Stretch – Move between arching and rounding your spine, syncing the movement to your breath. This helps release tension in the spine and shoulders—common areas where stress accumulates.

• Seated Side Stretch – Reach one arm overhead and lean gently to the side. Notice if you tend to hold your breath in certain stretches.

• Cross-Crawl – This is not a yoga move but I’ve placed it here as I think it’s a good one for discharging stress. Bring your right arm up and raise your left knee. Touch your right hand to your knee then repeat on the other side. Do this until you are pleasantly tired.

👉 During any of this movement, ask yourself: Am I rushing? Can I slow my breath down?

My husband had never tried yoga before until last summer when he downloaded an app and started to practice 10 minutes every lunch break (he works at home). Not only can he now touch his toes (his new party trick!) but he has told me how much more in tune he is with his body now from this regular practice. And - don’t tell him this - I can definitely see how this is impacting on his mood because he is more chilled out.

If yoga isn’t your thing that’s OK. Any movements can help to build a relationship with your body, from gently applying moisturising cream to dancing or Pilates. The key thing is to be curious about how your body feels at each point of the movement, not to push yourself to a limit to meet a fitness goal.

3. Attuning to Your Body’s Cues ALL The Time

Your body communicates constantly. As you become more aware of it you’ll find you don’t need to wait for the transition points of your day to tune in and understand. This post has been about noticing and taking action to address unmet physical needs. As you do this you’ll start to learn what all the little whispers the body gives you mean. For example:

• Shallow breathing = you’re feeling stressed or tense.

• Restlessness = you need movement or for a break from the activity you’re doing.

• Frequent sighing = your body wants to release tension.

• Tight shoulders or jaw = holding onto something emotionally, such as feeling frustrated or anticipatory anxiety.

These signals often show up before full-blown exhaustion and pain. The more you notice, the easier it becomes to respond early.

Why This Is Worth Sticking At Even Though It’s Hard!

If tuning into your body feels unfamiliar (or even uncomfortable) that’s completely normal. Many of us were taught to push through discomfort rather than listen to it.

But the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. You’ll start catching subtle signs of stress, exhaustion, or overstimulation before they escalate.

And when you respond to your body’s needs - whether that’s rest, movement, hydration, or simply pausing for a breath - you’ll build a more sustainable, burnout-proof way of living.

So, right now take a moment. Check in.

How does your body feel?

What is it asking for?

And can you start to listen?

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Hi! I’m Dr Claire Plumbly a clinical psychologist, EMDR Consultant and author dedicated to helping people understand how stress, burnout and trauma overlap and crucially what you can do about it to feel better.

To get going with more practical techniques to manage your nervous system and reduce the overwhelm then I’ve book written exactly for this purpose which you might find helpful.

This Substack publication is for anyone who wants to build a life that they don’t regularly wish they could escape from. If you would like to have a better work-life balance too then do join us here:

*I’m not a yoga expert but I do use movement in my therapy - generally I advise anyone trying yoga with the intention to build a relationship with their body to find a trauma-informed yoga therapist. These therapists use more invitational language and understand that the focus is on the connection with sensations above all else.