How To Take a Sick Day When You Find This Hard
Lots of bugs going round so I wanted to share this with you in case you're ill
“Is it a bad day to be ill, Mummy?”
After a restless night with a high temperature, my son woke up this morning with those heavy, tell-tale eyes that made it clear he wasn’t well enough for school.
At just seven years old, he was already worried about how his being unwell might affect me and my work 🥺.
Would I have to cancel lots of appointments to stay home with him?
Naturally, I reassured him that when he’s poorly, that’s the only thing that matters, and he just needs to rest and recover.
But it got me reflecting on an issue so many people face – one that leaves us vulnerable to burnout: we find it so hard give ourselves the time to recuperate when we truly need it.
Do You Struggle To Take Time Off?
Or to call in sick to work? If the answer is yes, here are some questions you might want to reflect on or even journal about:
❓ What worries or emotions do you experience when you're unwell and considering taking a day off sick?
❓ What obstacles prevent you from cancelling work and prioritising your health?
Here are some common responses I’ve heard from clients during therapy:
I’m letting people down.
I’m not ill enough to justify cancelling.
Others will think I’m unreliable.
I don’t have time for this.
I don’t deserve to rest.
These thoughts can trigger anxiety, shame, or guilt.
Now think about where these reactions might stem from. Were there times in your life that shaped these beliefs? For instance:
Were you made to feel guilty or like an inconvenience when you were ill?
Were you blamed for bringing germs into the home?
Did your parents never take sick days themselves or expect you to "push through"?
For me, my mum was a paediatric nurse who worked with very sick children. This set the bar quite high in our house for what counted as being ill enough to stay home from school.
Sometimes these messages from our upbringing are subtle. Reflect on what your parents or caregivers modelled about taking time off when sick. How were people who were unwell described in your household? Were terms like “skiving” or “shirking” casually thrown around?
These reflections can help us understand our current reactions to being ill. This self-awareness invites compassion and allows us to experiment with new ways of caring for ourselves.
But I Won’t Get PAID!
If, like me, you work for yourself then this is a very real problem and there isn’t a quick solution to this. Obviously having a slush fund for these moments helps, if you need to dip into savings for something else temporarily or ask someone to lend a hand then this might be the interim solution.
However something I want you to know is that when we are unwell our brain responds with its threat-mode - meaning the quality of our thoughts is similar to when we are anxious. We will get more rigid tunnel-vision on problems and feel less connected to potential solutions.
What I’m trying to say is that things look bleaker. Try to share concerns with someone who can take a balanced perspective. And recognise that these catastrophising thoughts should diminish as you start to feel better.
Learning To Care For Yourself When You’re Ill
The good news? It’s never too late to learn a new skill, including how to look after yourself when you’re poorly.
Today, I’ve been guiding my son in the hope that one day, as an adult, he’ll instinctively know how to care for himself when he’s unwell. Here’s what we’ve been doing – and how you might apply the same principles to yourself:
I rang the school to let them know he wouldn’t be in.
As adults, we often feel we need permission to take a day off. So here it is: I give you permission to rest and recover.Fresh pyjamas and a cosy dressing gown to keep him comfortable.
Changing his bedding after a sweaty night, so his bed feels fresh and inviting.
Low-stimulation activities, like reading, listening to audiobooks, or watching TV, instead of tackling something mentally taxing like a tricky Lego set. For adults, this might mean notifying colleagues you’re unwell, setting an out-of-office email, and temporarily removing work-related apps from your home screen.
Revisiting old favourites. My son dug out CDs and books he’s technically outgrown but finds comforting. For grown-ups, this could mean watching reruns of an old favourite sitcom – such as Friends.
Making the room dim in case he dozes off.
Cutting up fresh fruit for vitamins and staying hydrated.
Reassuring him with my presence. Just being nearby gives him a sense of comfort. If you’re on your own, can you reach out to a friend or family member and let them know you’re not feeling well?
Removing Stress Speeds Up Recovery
By taking a break from work, you’re removing a major source of stress. Even if you think you can handle a bit of stress, it will likely diminish your resilience to deal with other challenges during the day. Research also shows that stress slows recovery times from illness or injury, so it’s genuinely worth giving yourself the space to rest.
Be aware that stepping away from work or responsibilities may still bring up unpleasant thoughts and feelings. However, this doesn’t mean you must give in to them. You are still entitled to rest, even if those internal pressures are along for the ride. With time and practice, tuning into your needs and responding to them will lessen the intensity of these thoughts.
What’s Next?
If you’re reading this and thinking, I’d love to rest, but I can’t handle the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that come with it, here’s a blog post with an audio guide to help you ground yourself.
Remember, it’s never a bad day to care for yourself when you’re unwell.
Hi I’m Dr Claire Plumbly! I’m a clinical psychologist and author on the topic of burnout and trauma. This publication is dedicated to helping you build a life that you don’t regularly wish to escape from with posts designed to support self-compassion and self-care. I originally posted this on my website last year but it felt timely to share again today given how many bugs are around!